God’s Love:
I love how after 17 years and 8 months of knowing about God (I am a pastor’s child) I still struggle with the basics.
When I say love, I mean the exact opposite. It seems strange for someone who has called themselves a Christian to admit this, but I have only recently fully accepted Christ into my life.
It was an amazing experience. Over a period of about 24 hours at a Salvation Army Bible Leadership camp I took the steps from drowning in my sin and shame, to being a new creation, reborn in his image.
The first, and arguably the hardest, step was to admit my sin. For me this sin is lust (amongst other things). I went forward to the altar and began to pray. Accompanied by a close friend I began to cry out to God asking him to forgive me. As I continued to pray several pastors in attendance each came up to me offering beautiful passages of scripture that the Lord had placed on their hearts and praying that I could let go of the darkness that had taken over my life.
Finally a dear friend and mentor of mine came forward and put her arm around me. After a short prayer I confessed my sins to her and I felt a weight lift off of my heart. We prayed some more, cried a lot, and I left the chapel feeling a little better. But I wasn’t done.
Something she had asked me had really stuck with me. “God has forgiven you, now have you forgiven yourself?” I hadn’t.
You see, over the years of my sin and pain I had grown to hate myself. Satan had whispered in my ear for so long that I saw myself through his eyes, not Christ’s.
This is where the title of the article comes in.
God loves us. He really does. He sent his Son to die for us.
Every child that has ever attended Sunday school knows this, but do they believe it? I didn’t, at least not for me.
I could see why God would love other people, with their gifts and their amazing love, but why would he love me?
Actually I still have no idea. But I know that he does!
I woke up the next morning still wondering how I could discover if he really could love me and something that my elective leader had taught me popped up in my brain, “God made everything because he loves you, so in every situation remember, this is only happening because Jesus loves you”.
It suddenly made sense. The simple things amazed me. Wind blowing through the trees. A hug from one of your best friends. The smile on someone’s face as they open a door for you. God was showing me the world through his eyes. It was beautiful.
It was the best day I have experienced in years. I entered the chapel again that night ready to experience something powerful, and I did. The preacher gave a powerful message that sent many teens, young adults, and adults alike to the altar for prayers of repentance, and thanksgiving. As I sat there in my seat I felt the holy spirit moving in that building. It was beautiful. I still get shivers just thinking about what God did in that little corner of rural Wisconsin.
I spent some time talking to a friend who has a beautiful prayer ministry and I realized something. I could look hi in the eye and say that I am fully saved thanks to the all sufficient grace of my Lord. As I had watched the spirit move in my friends I realized that he could do it for me two, and he did.
I am FAR from perfect. Satan is still attacking me at every corner tempting me with the sins of the flesh and of the mind, but he will not win!
I have claimed the promise of Romans 6:18. “Now you are free from your slavery to sin, and you have become slaves to righteous living” (NLT).
I am excited to live for Christ, and to discover what he has planned for me. I’m sorry if this reads a little over excitedly, but I hope you can understand that God has done a powerful work in my life and I thank him for it every day.
I pray that anyone out there feeling the same bondage that I felt would accept God’s miraculous healing and forgiveness into their lives. In the name of Christ Jesus. Amen.
The Bible:
Reading the Bible can seem daunting, but I strongly believe that ANYBODY can read the whole thing. Be that in the suicidal three month readings or my one year long study. I read the Bible last year, and thanks to God's help, and his gift of Barb Higgins and her ability to keep me accountable, I made it through. Thank the lord!
Seriously, there is nothing better for your faith than to get into the word. And once I got past the 'hard' books it is really a very entertaining read (If you don't believe me look up 2 Kings 2: 23-24)!
I have been asked by many people what routine I used. Unfortunately I didn't actually keep up with one. I began with possibly the worst plan in existence - the 5 a day method. The basic idea is that if you read approximately five chapters a day you will finish the whole bible in a single calendar year. It did help me get going, but i just couldn't stick to it. I ended up just reading what I felt like. This kept me excited and positive about the whole thing. I just made a list of what I had read and checked off each book when I finished it. The best thing about this program for me was that it allowed the Lord to illuminate specific passages exactly when I needed them.
I say needed them because I didn't always want them! One great example is Phillipians 2:3 'Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves' (NIV). God dropped that bombshell into my reading the same day that I found myself using the fact that I was reading the Bible in a year to build myself up. Once again I saw how meaningless my actions were if they were only for myself, and my focus returned to God.
My number one piece of advice is very simple; don't do it on your own. This can be accomplished in three ways. Find a friend to read with. Email me or Blake on our e-mail accounts, I'd love to talk about what you are reading and I'm sure Blake feels the same. The third part is the most important: Bring God into the mater; pray to him. Thank him for what you read, ask him for help or to show you what to read, and when you get convicted by something ask God to remain with you and act on what he tells you!
I thank God every day for his word. It is amazing. I also pray that anyone who gets into the word is blessed by it and is shown God's immense love and grace through the power of his word. Keep your Bible close and you will surely grow in your faith.